October 19, 2018

Don’t Fall In Love With Ted Cruz, Or You’ll Live An Unfulfilled Life

Presumably this Heidi Cruz profile, by Elaina Plott at The Atlantic, was written in an effort to provide some sort of human element to Ted Cruz’s re-election campaign, as he is incapable of doing that himself. Instead, it came off as a dire warning of ...
October 19, 2018

Anthony Duclair Eats Shit, Gets Up, Scores Amazing Goal

Young Blue Jackets forward Anthony Duclair looked a little overeager to receive the puck with tons of space in the offensive zone in the first period tonight against the Flyers. And when Duclair skated in on net, a sudden attempt to change direction en...
October 18, 2018

Report: Los Angeles Will Be Saddled With The Chargers For At Least 20 Years

The Los Angeles Chargers are currently in a tiny stadium that can max out its capacity at 27,000. They’ve become a concern for the league’s other owners in terms of viability. Also, no one really cares about them since their true fanbase is in San Dieg...
October 18, 2018

Cricket Dingus Caught Napping, Is Run Out Like A Dingus

Day three of the second cricket Test match between Pakistan and Australia was most notable for one big-ass gaffe. Pakistan’s Azhar Ali was batting. He hit the ball. Ali, who had already hit 64, including four boundaries, thought this ball was also head...
October 18, 2018

DeAndre Ayton Is Good

The sorry-ass Mavericks lost to the sorry-ass Suns in Phoenix last night, thanks mostly to a fourth-quarter explosion from Devin Booker. These two teams will most likely be headed south sometime around the all-star break, so the only reason to tune in ...
October 18, 2018

Elfrid Payton Has Neat New Hair And Neat New Teammates

Some of the uncertainty coming into this season, for the New Orleans Pelicans, concerned the departure of Rajon Rondo, who played an important role in the team’s strong finish last season and then left in free agency, and his replacement, Elfrid Payton...
October 18, 2018

Kevin Durant Laughs Off Joe Lacob’s Plea To Re-Sign With Warriors

Kudos to The Athletic’s Anthony Slater for inspecting a deeply unholy NBA rite closely enough to spot something wonderful. Had you watched the Warriors ring presentation as carefully as The Athletic’s Anthony Slater, you would’ve seen Kevin Durant wal...
October 18, 2018

Do The Capitals Or Golden Knights Have Any Chance Of Doing It Again?

The combatants in last season’s Stanley Cup Final met a week into this young season and the rematch looked like a mismatch. The Capitals rode their hot offensive start to a 5-2 victory over the Golden Knights, who now have a 3-4-0 record that has comme...
October 18, 2018

The Perfect Wrestler

By March 2015, wrestler Kyle Snyder was used to winning. He had gone 179-0 against high school competition and won the world under-20 championships at just 17. Then, in 2015, his freshman year at Ohio State, Snyder lost the NCAA heavyweight final to Io...
October 18, 2018

NBA Developmental League To Offer $125,000 Contracts To Top High School Prospects

The NBA’s developmental league has unveiled a program that could greatly loosen the NCAA’s grip on top high school basketball prospects. The league will begin offering what it calls “Select Contracts” that pay $125,000 for one year to just-graduated hi...