September 17, 2018

Willie Taggart Pleads For Patience After Florida State Gets Boatraced By Syracuse

The start of the Willie Taggart era in Tallahassee has been quite the shitshow. The Florida State Seminoles entered this season ranked 20th, yet three weeks into the season, they’re 1-2 and look like they’ll struggle to even make a bowl game. Jimbo Fis...
September 17, 2018

Frank Gore Has Been So Good For So Long

Frank Gore was not supposed to be in the NFL for over a decade. He was not supposed to recover from tearing both of his ACLs and then both of his labrums to build a no-doubt Hall of Fame career, and yet here he is, still a big part of an offense at age...
September 16, 2018

Canelo Álvarez Narrowly Sneaks Past Gennady Golovkin In Kickass Rematch Fight

Saúl “Canelo” Álvarez eked out a narrow majority decision win over Gennady “GGG” Golovkin in Las Vegas tonight to hand the Kazakh slugger his first career loss and snag the WBA, WBC, and IBO championship belts. The rematch was a much closer fight than ...
September 14, 2018

Cops Will Try To Halt The Tailgating Bills Fans’ War Against Tables

The Buffalo Bills will play their first home game of the season this Sunday against the Chargers. (The last time those two teams played, Nathan Peterman threw five picks in a half.) Hordes of Zubaz-clad Bills fans will presumably mark the home opener ...
September 12, 2018

Doug Marrone Claims He’s “So Pissed Off” At Not Reaching A Super Bowl That He’s Never Watched One

Jaguars coach Doug Marrone probably should have coached in the Super Bowl last season and, if he had, he would have witnessed his first Super Bowl action in, uh, over 40 years, somehow? Marrone told ESPN today that he didn’t watch last season’s Super B...
September 12, 2018

How Celebrity Nutritionist Alan Aragon Used His Status To Prey On Young Women

This May, Carolina Belmares traveled to Kansas City to attend the 2018 Fitness Summit, an annual conference that was co-headlined by nutritionist and author Alan Aragon. Belmares says she was looking forward to the event as a way to build relationships...
September 10, 2018

Alarmingly Red Jon Gruden: Khalil Mack Didn’t Want To Be Here

Future former Raiders coach Jon Gruden will make his regular-season debut tonight against the Rams, but because his team will be ass and because erstwhile Raiders superstar Khalil Mack was a beast yesterday, his team’s lunkheaded decision to trade Mack...
September 7, 2018

Flamethrowing White Sox Phenom Michael Kopech Needs Tommy John Surgery

After making four starts this year, White Sox rookie Michael Kopech will most likely not return to the mound until 2020. The team announced this afternoon that Kopech has a torn ulnar collateral ligament, and while he will reportedly seek a second opin...
September 7, 2018

Flamethrowing White Sox Phenom Michael Kopech Needs Tommy John Surgery

After making four starts this year, White Sox rookie Michael Kopech will most likely not return to the mound until 2020. The team announced this afternoon that Kopech has a torn ulnar collateral ligament, and while he will reportedly seek a second opin...
September 6, 2018

Two FIU Football Players Shot In Drive-By Shooting

Two Florida International Panthers football players were shot this afternoon, according to Opa-locka (Florida) Police Chief James Dobson, via the Miami Herald. Neither player’s injuries are believed to be life-threatening.Read more...